Thursday, January 7, 2010

fake-storm 2009

hey guys! sorry it's been so long. but you don't care, you just want to read something interesting.

well, christmas came and went. it never felt like christmas. it did feel like a chore, and ohhh... TORTURE. but let's not get into that. i probably just have a bad temper. but it didn't help that we got snowed in our hometown and had to stay an extra night and day.

so the whole thing was just a big fake-storm. back in november it was sister 1's birthday. we went for dinner. when the food came, i dug in, and sister 2 chimed in "your food will taste better if you pray for it first!". bewildered by her idiot comment, all i could muster was "yeah okay." so now, christmas, i knew i was faced with having to be a big faker, or ending up in a huge fight with sister 2, and mom and dad too. and fights just aren't okay at christmas time. me and sister 2 learned that when we were kids, when we couldn't spend ten minutes in the same room without strangling the other.

so i bowed my head, i closed my eyes, i folded my hands, and yes, even said my prayers. and if that wasn't enough faking, when it came time to go to church, we faked being sick. and as we left, we served our "it-was-great-to-see-yous" towards some people we were forced to see.

by the time the holidays were over, we were purely exhausted. i don't lie to anyone, except for when i'm in my damn hometown where nobody can handle the truth. i've had enough. i love my family and i want to be able to be myself around them, and i want them to know who i really am. this year my goal is to ease them into the truth. i don't want to just blast them down with it all at once, because i know it would hurt them. i'm really excited to be open and free, and really really nervous i'll lose my family forever.


  1. Next time tell your sister that it's only appropriate to pray over Deviled eggs or Devil's food cake.

  2. Ah, it DOES feel free when you are out and about. I remembered a friend who told his family about it, and he was literally excommunicated from the entire clan (he's Chinese).

    Do try. And feel the heat later :)

    Waiting to hear the pain from you soon.

  3. Hey Tina,
    Watch Home for the Holidays. It sounds just like your recent experience with your family.
    Just try to have a sense of humor about it and don't fake anything. When my wife's family wants to pray before a big family meal, we simply leave the room and come back later.
    If you're bold, confident and up front, they'll likely leave you alone. If you are timid, your sister will jump all over you.
    I don't know your family, so I'm totally guessing. :)